How to Stop Worrying About Things You Can’t Change is one of those questions…

You know…

Nobody knows THE answer, but everyone has AN answer.

I myself have overcome worrying about the things I can’t change. 

I don’t do it anymore.

So, I hope my answers will make sense to you.

What would I say to my son if he were to ask me: How to Stop Worrying About Things You Can’t Change?

I’d say something like this:

Scientists found that 91.4% of worry predictions made by participants with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) did not come true! Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7233480/

One participant even got ALL (100%) his predictions wrong.

So, if you’re worried there’s a high chance that only SOME of your worries will come true. 

So, there are actual, real ways to feel better. Let’s break this down into super simple steps that really work.

Understanding Why We Get Stuck in Worry

Our brains are like super-careful security guards – always on the lookout for trouble. 

Back in the day, this helped our ancestors stay alive. 

As I mentioned in this article, there are two types of brain circuits. The brain constantly on the lookout for possible dangers: 50 shades of anxiety: How to identify and destroy yours?

Only the anxious humans survived.

But now? 

Our brain treats a work presentation like it’s a hungry tiger! No wonder we’re stressed.

Think about it: when you’re worrying, your brain is trying to protect you. That’s kind of sweet, right? But just like an overprotective mom, sometimes it goes overboard.

The good news? We can teach our brain to chill out a bit.

If you think your body is the main culprit of your anxiety, then I recommend addressing it on the body-level. Why anxiety scientists like tragic accidents?

If you think the the reason is the way you think, then read on:

Spot the Things You Really Can’t Change

Here’s a trick I learned that changed everything. 

Grab a piece of paper and write down what’s bugging you. Now, ask yourself one simple question: “Can I actually do something about this right now?”

If yes – awesome! 

Make a tiny plan and take action. Action and worry are incompatible. 

When you do something, you don’t worry.

If you can’t do anything about it- this is where the magic happens. We’re going to learn to let it go.

For example, you can’t control:

• What other people think
• The weather
• The past
• Most future events
• Other people’s choices

Quick Tools to Calm Your Mind

A cool trick is “Worry Time.” 

Set aside 15 minutes (or less!) each day just for worrying. 

When worries pop up outside that time, tell them “Not now, I’ll worry about you at 7 PM!” 

It sounds silly, but it really helps take the power away from those thoughts.

And when the worry time does come, you sit down with a piece of paper, a PC or a phone and write down all your worries.

Then, ask yourself: how likely is this to happen?

Mark each worry from 0 (not gonna happen) to 100 (will definitely happen).

Another trick that may have literally saved my sanity one time is asking yourself: “What’s the worst that can happen?” for each of the worries.

For example: if you worry that it’s gonna rain and you won’t have an umbrella, then let the worries run wild:

It’ll rain tomorrow. I’ll get wet. I’ll come to work wet and will have to stay wet. I will catch a cold. My immune system is weak, so this cold will be a bad one. I will not be able to come to work and I will lose my job. My cold will gradually get worse and will develop into pneumonia. No medicine in the world will be able to save me and I will die. 

At least, that’s how my anxiety sounds. 

How likely does that sound?

Has it ever happened before? (in my case, something similar happened, actually!)

If not, then why are you worried about something that isn’t likely to happen?

And even if it does seem likely then you now have “the plan” laid out. You can address each step in the plan. For example, you can buy an umbrella. Or you can take a taxi to work. Or you can buy a towel and dry yourself out. 

There are a thousand things you could do to prevent the worst-case scenario.

Replace Worry with Action

That’s exactly what I once did.

When I just started my language school, my partner suddenly quit AFTER I had already invested most of my life savings.

Now I was looking at not only losing my savings, but also at a possible bankruptcy.

So, what did I do?

I sat down, wrote my “worst case scenario”.

It turned out not as catastrophic as I had imagined. 

I was then able to calm down enough to take steps to make the fallout much more limited.

And it worked!

I did lose some students, but I didn’t lose my school and I didn’t go into debt.

Build Better Thought Habits

This is where the real change happens. Start super small:

• When worry hits, take three deep breaths (long hold, slow exhale)
• Before bed, write down one thing that went well today
• Start a journal

These tiny habits add up to big changes over time. It’s like building a worry-proof wall, one brick at a time.

Your brain actually changes when you practice these habits. 

Scientists call it “neuroplasticity” – I just call it proof that we can all get better at handling worry.

Sure, you won’t stop worrying overnight, and that’s okay! Progress isn’t perfect – it’s just moving forward, one tiny step at a time.

Remember those stats from the beginning? 91% of worries never happen. 

So chances are, what you’re worried about right now probably won’t be a big deal in the future. 

So, to answer the original question: How to stop worrying about things you can’t change?

You need to make sure that you indeed CAN’T change those things.

Because if you can… Then you can take action.

And if you really can’t change those things..?

Are they even likely?

Most likely, you have much more pressing issue in your life that require your attention.

Check this article (especially the After Action Review!) and you’ll learn how to assess your worries better:

How to overcome anxiety with just 6 mental skills

You’ve got this! Every time you choose to let go of something you can’t control, you’re getting stronger. 

You can learn more by reading these articles: Can’t Overcome Anxiety? Why Not Outsmart It Instead?

Or visit this page to learn about the Outsmart Anxiety course