What if you’ve been failing to overcome anxiety?
Should you keep trying or give up?
Anxiety sucks!
I suffered from anxiety for years and it used to make me:
- Constantly tired
- Lose my salary because I couldn’t show up at work due to anxiety
- Fear the smallest things and sounds at night
- Worried I’d never be normal again
- Fear losing control
And much more!
An estimated 4.05% of the global population has an anxiety disorder. That’s 301 million people.
(source: https://mecp.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s43045-023-00315-3)
If Anxiety was a country, it would be ranked #4 in the world by population!
So, you’re not alone.
Other people report many other symptoms of anxiety.
Check if you can identify yours:
Physical symptoms of anxiety:
- Having unexplained chest pains, racing heart, shortness of breath, with docs saying “it’s all in your head”
- Have got really bad insomnia
- Shortness of breath, dizziness and heart racing.
- Feeling like living in a body of a much older person
Mental symptoms of anxiety:
- Feeling like you have to live with this indefinitely.
- Feeling like you’re in a constant fight or flight
- Hate doing things others don’t worry about like going over bridges, or eating out
- Not being able to leave the house to go too far
- The feeling of dread
Impact on relationships of anxiety:
- Blocking nice people online who did nothing wrong, just because you are horrified
- Trembling so much everyone can see it (and then weirded out by it)
- Family complaining about you not doing more with your life
Anxiety and work:
- Experiencing anxiety attacks at work, so you think of quitting
- Having your boss or manager reprimand you for your anxiety symptoms
- Being worse than everyone else at work at what you do
- Failing to get promoted despite working hard
I’ve experienced most of these anxiety symptoms.
Yet, I’m free from them!
But why? How?
That’s exactly what we’ll discuss in this article.
But first, an admission:
Sometimes I still worry and feel anxious. I have GAD, and it’s impossible to cure it. But now it’s not enough to interfere with my life.
I’m the living proof that it is possible to manage it.
But I don’t merely “manage it”, I don’t run away from it.
I learned to constantly challenge myself.
Just the other day, I went to a crowded part of my city, during a holiday evening!
For me, who suffered from social anxiety for most of my life, this was unbelievable. You can read my story here.
On that day, I didn’t avoid the crowds.
I didn’t panic.
I didn’t worry.
I could look people in the eye and make eye contact!
Something I had never been able to do well.
I smiled.
I even enjoyed it and I can’t wait to do it again.
This experience showed me how far I’ve come and I’d be honored if I can help you do the same.
Below, I will show you my biggest breakthroughs and mind shifts that allowed me to overcome my anxiety.
It took years to discover, but with the information below you can do it much faster.
You can overcome and outsmart your anxiety – and learn to do it much easier than I did.
What Misa’s deadly disease taught me about how to overcome anxiety
Many of us needlessly suffer from anxiety because we just don’t understand it.
This reminds me of when my cat Misa got sick.
About a month after we had bought her, her behavior started to change a little.
She was less active than usual.
But she behaved normally, so we didn’t pay much attention.
She didn’t show any signs of illness.
She didn’t show any pain.
Only when we saw that her belly was getting bloated, we realized: something was wrong.
Long story short: she had a life-threatening viral disease (like a cat version of COVID), she required surgery and a prolonged experimental treatment, but she survived and now is a happy and healthy cat.
This experience taught me something.
We don’t always understand what’s wrong with us, just like Misa didn’t understand what was wrong with her.
We sometimes don’t even realize that something is wrong.
For example, I was clueless about my own anxiety-related struggles.
I thought it was normal.
I thought everyone felt like that.
What’s more, people in our families often also experience anxiety, so it looks like “everyone’s like that!”.
Wrong!
I wasn’t addressing my anxiety the way I should have.
I was failing to overcome anxiety because I didn’t know my anxiety.
Don’t be like me.
Today you will see what anxiety is, how it’s created and, most importantly..
How to get rid of your anxiety once and for all!
You will:
- learn to cope actively and with success
- begin to look forward to your life
- take the power back in your life
- see things and people for what and who they are, not what anxiety tells you
- get back into work (if you choose to)
- be the normal, happy and cheerful you again
You’ll be happier!
Why will you never “beat” your anxiety – and what to do instead?
You will never beat your anxiety – you must outsmart it instead.
You see, anxiety originates within us.
So, fighting your anxiety is like fighting yourself.
You can’t win.
In my course Outsmart Anxiety I explain that fighting your anxiety never works.
Instead, you can end your anxiety by following the 5-step process I describe in the course.
I call this process SMART.
It’s an acronym that stands for:
- Save yourself
- Manage your mind
- Assess your anxiety
- Rebuild your Resilience
- Thrive!
We’ll talk about each of these steps in separate articles, so stay tuned.
Here’s a short preview:
Save yourself – you, and only you, are responsible for dealing with your anxiety.
You, and only you, are capable of overcoming your anxiety.
There’s nobody in this world who can do it for you, or better than you.
I will show you how to finally stop fighting your anxiety and instead outsmart it once and for all.
Manage your mind – next, you will start learning the skills that will help you manage your mind.
And when you manage your mind, then you can manage your anxiety.
If anxiety were an animal, you would learn taming skills.
If you let an unprepared person into a cage with a lion, the person will perish.
Ask an experienced tamer to help, and the lion will start following human commands.
The difference is in the skills of the tamer.
You will learn the skills of taming your anxiety.
Assess your anxiety – you need to know your anxiety.
You need to know where it comes from and how to deal with it.
What is anxiety?
How does it develop?
Where does it originate?
There are different types of anxiety and they require different approaches.
You will see these different types and will learn what to do if you have one or the other.
Maybe you have driving anxiety. Maybe it’s social anxiety. Maybe it’s death anxiety.
Some people worry, others panic.
These are different types of anxiety and you overcome them in different ways.
There are various types of anxiety and you will only overcome yours if you know and understand it first.
Rebuild your Resilience.
This is where the healing of anxiety can truly begin.
This is where you can experience relief. More on it here: -> Why anxiety scientists like tragic accidents?
This is where you finally start relaxing and learning the new ways of thinking and feeling.
You will see that you can overcome anxiety and that if you keep making small steps you will, eventually, end your anxiety.
Your anxiety will stop ruining your life.
In this step you start building a strong base for your future self.
It’s like building a house.
You may have the tools and materials, but without a solid foundation, your house will collapse.
Thrive! – start building a good life.
Life without anxiety is not yet a good life.
It’s just life without anxiety.
But wouldn’t it be nice if we could genuinely enjoy our lives, be happy, fulfilled and successful?
We’ll talk about how to do just that.
We’ll talk about what psychologists call the PERMA framework.
It stands for positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievements.
All big words.
But they are actually simple.
And, intuitively, you already know about these things.
When you start overcoming your anxiety you will be able to relax and “look around” in your life.
You may realize that there are things that you want and anxiety has been keeping them from you.
That’s when PERMA can help you find what you want and then help you start getting more of it.
If you have these five elements you can lead a fulfilled and happy life.
Replace your anxiety with fulfillment!
Before we begin…
My goal for this article is to give you a short introduction.
If you want the “full version”, please check my course called Outsmart Anxiety.
It has helped countless people to overcome their anxieties and can do it for you too, if you let it.
Let’s begin!
stop fighting your anxiety and it will stop fighting you
Fighting your anxiety is futile.
It exhausts you, and it doesn’t work.
So, what do we do instead?
When Stephan (my son) had eye cancer, on day 3 of his hospitalization, his doctor told us that his eye had to be removed.
At first, I didn’t realize the implications of this.
If it had to be done…
…it had to be done.
I was focused on saving his life.
No questions, no doubts.
But when I came home that day and when I looked at the pictures of him on the wall, it suddenly hit me: my son will have one eye.
“I will have a one-eyed son.”
“My child will only have one eye. “
“He will be defective.”
“He will never be normal”
“He will never be ‘healthy’”
All these thoughts invaded my mind.
I was sad.
I cried.
And then, when I couldn’t cry anymore…
…another thought popped into my mind.
“So what?”
“Is there any other way?”
“So what if he has one eye?”
“What will it change?”
“Will I not love him anymore?”
“Will I love him any less?”
“Will I stop caring, and taking care of him?”
And the answer to these questions was a resounding “HELL NO! I will love him as much, or even more!”
I love him.
No conditions.
So, if you love yourself without conditions, then you will realize: it’s your job to help and save yourself, regardless of your past and your present situation.
You will not give up on yourself.
You will not stop taking care of yourself.
But what if you don’t love yourself? – you may wonder,
Then, why are you trying to get rid of anxiety?
Why do you care if you have or don’t have anxiety?
You wouldn’t be reading this far if you truly didn’t care.
So, you see…
You do care.
You have that something that makes you human.
A perfect human.
You care.
Let’s look at it from a different angle.
What would you do if your kid or your friend had anxiety?
What would you do if you were a teacher and your student had anxiety?
Suddenly, you may find that you start thinking about it in a different way.
You may even start accepting the mindset of helping yourself, or saving yourself.
This is exactly how I started my healing process.
I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a person in need of help.
I looked around and saw: there was nobody to help me.
I saw that my life was going nowhere.
I needed to be saved from the hell of anxiety.
And only I could do it.
It was my job and my privilege to save myself.
So, how do we save ourselves from anxiety?
First, you need to love yourself.
And it’s easier said than done.
It’s hard.
Especially if you hate your life, if you hate yourself for feeling like you do.
But you don’t need to like yourself or your life in order to love yourself.
Love and liking aren’t the same.
For example, I don’t like the fact that Stephan has only one eye.
I don’t like that I often need to clean his prosthetic eye.
I don’t like that he will never excel in some sports.
But I love him.
You too, can love yourself without liking yourself as a whole.
This love can come from many sources.
You can appreciate your uniqueness.
You can appreciate your place in the universe. The whole existence of the world has produced you.
You exist and it’s already a miracle.
You can look at yourself as God’s creation.
You can appreciate the complexity that is your human body. Billions of cells, all working together.
You can love your potential. Imagine what you could do if it were not for anxiety.
The best way to put it is…
Love yourself as you’d love your own child.
Treat yourself as you’d treat your own child.
When you start feeling like that, then you may feel angry about your current situation, and it’s great!
Anger is the sign that you’re moving along.
Loving yourself also means accepting your anxiety, too.
Right now, it’s a part of you.
Just like Stephan’s lack of eye is a part of his life, or his poor depth perception, your anxiety is a part of yours.
But make no mistake…
Accepting doesn’t mean letting your anxiety run rampant in your mind.
No.
Love yourself.
Accept yourself.
Help yourself.
Never give up on yourself.
But be serious about your own future.
Teach yourself, train yourself, improve yourself.
Help yourself manage and tame your anxiety.
I don’t let my love for Stephan overshadow my duties as a father to create a strong, happy and successful person.
When you develop this core of self-love and acceptance you will become stronger.
And when you become stronger, you will be able to heal yourself.
So, how do you become stronger?
By learning to manage your mind.
You can read about it in this article. -> How to overcome anxiety with just 6 mental skills.
And if you want to get access to my course, please follow this link. Outsmart Anxiety course
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