“Why Am I So Anxious?” – I’ve asked myself this question a thousand times.

Why couldn’t I find an answer? 

Because, unfortunately, there’s no one single answer. 

Science simply doesn’t know.

You can ask any doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist etc, and their answer (if they’re honest) will begin with: “well… we don’t know, but…”

Still, after studying neurobiology, psychology, after reading countless books and talking to hundreds of anxiety sufferers I have a better understanding of why we can feel so anxious sometimes. 

You’ve seen this countless times: you’re worrying about every little thing or get sudden anxiety attacks, while people around you seem completely unphased.

I used to have a coworker who was so relaxed that nothing seemed to throw him off balance.  

The only time I saw him not being in a “neutral” mood was when his mom had died. A life-changing event. 

But even then, he looked just irritated, nothing more. 

That’s when I started to seriously ask myself: “Why Am I So Anxious?”

Because, you see, I would worry about everything under the sun.

Will it rain today?

Will I get fired (for no apartment reason)?

Do I have cancer without realizing it? 

What if my partner doesn’t really care about me?

And it had been like that forever.

If you’re like me, let’s take a closer look at why some people are more anxious than others. 

I cover this in depth in my Outsmart Anxiety course.

The simple answer is this: 

Our anxiety is developed (and learned!) based on:

1. Our genetics
2. Our life experiences

As a teacher I regularly interact with kids as young as one year old and I see that you can already observe huge differences in their levels of anxiety.

They haven’t had any traumatic life events. 

All babies are treated fairly the same. 

Yet, some already feel more anxious. 

That’s genetics at play.

Science backs this up too.

Your grandma asked herself too: “Why am I so anxious?”

According to Myrna Weissman’s 1993 research, 1.2-2.4% of the general population experience panic disorder. 

But if a person has panic disorder, then a whopping 7.7-20.5% of his or her first degree relatives experience it as well hinting at a strong genetic or environmental correlation.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8145184

According to the 2006 research by Stephen C Newman, Roger C Bland, if a person has generalized anxiety disorder, his or her first degree relatives are 58-64% likely to have it as well. 

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16700965

This is why, in my opinion, it’s important to first address anxiety where it originates: in your body. 

The mind will follow.

Yes, life’s experiences definitely play a role. 

But the problem here is this: The same experience can be traumatic to one person and non-traumatic to another. 

The same experience can cause stress in one person, and not cause it in another. 

Just like with me and my chill coworker: we worked at the same company. We had the same job title. Yet I was stressed out of my mind, and he was OK. 

If you want to know more about my approach to overcoming anxiety, you can learn more by reading these articles: Can’t Overcome Anxiety? Why Not Outsmart It Instead?,

Here’s the short recap:

You can use my SMART framework for outsmarting anxiety.

S – Save Yourself

First things first: you need to be on your own team. Think about it – if a kid was scared, you wouldn’t tell them to “just get over it,” right? So why do we talk to ourselves that way?

Here’s what helped me:

• Treating myself like someone I really care about
• Starting super small (even just one deep breath count!)
• Understanding that my feelings are real and valid
• Taking tiny steps to feel better each day
• Never giving up on myself

M – Manage Your Mind

When we learn to drive, we need to get a driver’s licence. It’s important to learn to drive before you drive. It’s important for your own and others’ safety. 

You need to know how to control your vehicle. Imagine if there was a mind’s driver’s license. Your mind is your vehicle. 

Would you be a good driver? Would you be a careful one? A reckless one? 

Regardless of your current “mind driving skill”, you can become better at it.

You can read more here: How to overcome anxiety with just 6 mental skills

Learn these techniques: 

• Pause and Plan
• Learn the MIST problem-solving framework
• Practice After-Action Review
• Think the scientific method way

A – Assess Your Anxiety

Time to play detective! Keep it super simple:

• Notice when anxiety shows up most
• Keep a basic notes diary
• Look for patterns (maybe mornings are harder?)
• Learn your early warning signs
• Figure out what makes you feel better or worse

R – Rebuild Your Resilience

Just like my motorcycle needs good fuel and maintenance, your body needs the right stuff:

• Take a 5-minute walk (if that’s all you need!)
• Drink more water (seriously, it helps)
• Sleep a bit better
• Eat regular (good!) meals
• Do some simple stretches

T – Thrive

This is the fun part! Like finding the perfect mountain road, you’ll discover what makes you happy:

• Build simple daily routines
• Spend time with people who make you smile
• Find small things you enjoy
• Celebrate your wins (even tiny ones!)
• Find a purpose in life

Think about my motorcycle for a second – I wouldn’t expect it to run without maintenance, right? 

Your mind needs the same kind of care. 

Be patient with yourself.

You’re way stronger than you think. I know because I’ve been exactly where you are, and I found my way out. 

I was asking myself: “Why am I so anxious?” – but not anymore.

Because I’m not “so anxious” anymore. 

I changed how I treat myself, my mind and my body, and those changed my life’s environment.

You can too. 

Start with just one tiny piece of the SMART method today. That’s all you need to begin.

You can learn more by reading these articles: Can’t Overcome Anxiety? Why Not Outsmart It Instead?

Or visit this page to learn about the Outsmart Anxiety course